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CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

FM William Burns

FM William Burns

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Joined
Oct 17, 2009
Messages
2,901
Location
The Mitten State
This new gathering has brought out the softy in me:

This new family feel atmosphere has made me want to confess.

As a child of eight years old, my neighbor and I went into the woods to be Boy Scouts. We designed two small campfire areas near each other. We ignited them with some matches and wouldn’t you know the wind picked up. They grew together and became one. We got scared and began dousing them (imagine how). Well we didn’t have enough GPM so we sought safety by egress and ran the 1/2 mile home. The fire siren blew, we were out of breath and my mother knew something was up.

Smitty, the local cop knew exactly where to begin his investigation: when I was four, that same neighbor and I played Postman and rode our tricycles around the neighborhood taking mail out of peoples mailboxes and re-distributed throughout the neighborhood. Needless to say, I couldn’t keep it in and confessed.

My first of many experiences with brush fires and look at me now. I believe God had a plan for me and knew that I wouldn’t make a good cop or postman. I wonder how I passed those psych evaluations :lol:
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

When I was about seven, I was playing with matches in my room. I lit one and and dropped it into the wall cavity at floor level (my room was a work in progress at the time and the baseboard trim was not installed yet). Not seeing the flame go out or the telltale wisp of smoke indicating extinguishment, I got scared... really scared. My Dad was a big guy with a bad temper, and I just knew a fire in the wall would not go over well.

I ran to the bathroom and got a glass of water to pour into the wall. Then I went for another. By the third glass of water my oldest brother, who was in the hallway between my room and the bathroom, asked what I was doing. I told him I was thirsty. Apparently my efforts were successful as the house did not go up in flames.

I've never told anyone in my family about that night. Actually I've never told anyone at all about it. But I kept my 'playing with fire' out-of-doors from that point on.
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

Wow! Everyone has a story. I thought I was the only one that had these issues!

Mine starts with non-exploding fireworks, a dry summer school yard, and a brisk wind. Need I say more :?:

I will save the derailing of a train for another time. :shock:
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

FM Glad you explained your came of post office with your buddy :lol:

Did that turn into Florida's Black Friday fire :D
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

My fascination with fire and ignition began when I learned that a can of WD-40 and a Bic lighter made one heck of a flame thrower that could take out my playmate's battalion of G.I. Joes. I also learned that a 3 foot section of 1" diameter PVC pipe made an excellent bottle rocker mortar.
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

MT:

Yea........was thinking of that postal thing while typing.

I remember that fire; it was one of my first which happened by coincidence. My partner was from Daytona and we were off on a “Kelly Shift” (four days off in a row) so we decided to head up from West Palm for some Snook fishing in Tacoma (I think) State Park. We got to Melbourne on I-95 and saw the smoke. We headed east and ran into an engine from Vero Beach. As Rookies we were full of P & V so we showed them ID and hooked up with them. Needless to say we worked hard for a few days and didn’t fish.

I respect the heck out of the guys and gals out in your neck of the woods, its bust butt work.

Others: Remember those beer can cannons and lighter fluid :mrgreen:
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

In the days before shrink-wrap, Del Monte Corp. used to wrap pallets of boxed canned goods with huge rubber bands. They were 25’ long. Around age ten I got one. There was a forked tree in the back yard so naturally I fashioned a slingshot.

I would hold the marble and a bunch of kids would line up behind me all pulling on the kid in front of them. We were launching marbles two miles to a lake. I had a spotter with a two-way radio.

Now here is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Half way to the lake was the police station. I calculated that a bigger marble with an adjusted trajectory could hit the police station. I had the spotter stop at the parking lot of the cop shop and let one fly. It hit the wall, which was slate shingle on the outside. It hit the wall of the Chief’s office. Went through the wall and scared the crap out of him. The chief’s name was Frank Danakis and he was a friend of the family. At first he thought they were under fire but then they found a busted marble.

I was kinda surprised that it only took them an hour to put it all together and show up at the house. I had already stashed the rubber band but they new that it was a kid what done it and it had to be me. What they didn’t know was how I did it. Dad knew in an instant.
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

Ok. I’ve got one.

Several years ago, I arrived at a job site in a remote area of Carmel Valley, Ca. for a temporary power inspection. The meter was mounted on a portable toilet and no one was on the job site.

After tagging the meter, I opted to use the stinky toilet. Finishing up, I dropped my cigarette butt into the commode and headed to my truck to finish up the paperwork.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see smoke billowing out of the vents in the portable toilet. OH NO, I thought, I LIT THE TOILET ON FIRE!!!

I opened the door and saw no flames but, apparently this thing had been used enough that not all of the toilet paper had submerged into the liquid and was smoldering big time.

I ran around the job site until I found a 2X4 about 4’ long and stuffed the mess down into the wet stench to extinguish the problem.

Then I left quickly, fearing that the contractor would show up at any time. That would have been sooooo embarrassing!

Almost as embarrassing as sharing it here...

GPE
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

So when people ask you....you think you are hot sh#@ don't you?

You can honestly say...Yep! :lol:
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

When I was around 6 or 7, I was playing with matches and candles ON THE GAS METER next to the house.....needless to say, my father, who was a cop at the time, found the burnt candles and matches and took me to the local fire dept. for a stern lecture session with the fire marshal who proceeded to scare the crap out of me. A few years later, my dad switched to the fire dept. and became a firefighter...whenever there was a family fire dept. function, I didn't want to go because of the embarassment of having to see the fire marshal who had lectured me.

On a side note, when people asked my father how he liked the fire dept. compared to the Police dept. he always stated: "Well, when I'm on the fire engine, people use all five fingers to wave at me instead of just one like they did when I was a cop"
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

We are a sick, SICK! bunch of individuals! G-D bless us all, every one. :lol:
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

Here is one I have titled "The Hypocrite"

Back in the day (long before I got into this insanity) I built decks, framed additions, set tile, finished basements, etc... to supply monies for my hunting and fishing addictions. Never did have any kind of contractors licence, insurance, etc... During those years I did have only one call back. The problem was taken care of to the owners satisfaction in short order.

Now here I'am decades later writing citations and posting stop work orders for just that reason. Gasp!!! :eek:

Oh, by the way. Never pulled permit one! Double gasp! :eek:
 
Re: CONFESSIONAL [GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST]

Don't feel bad JP, back in my weight lifting days I bought a book on Arnold Schwarzenegger, he described coming from Austria to Muscle Beach in Southern California, he rounded up other weight lifters in the gym and became an unlicensed masonry contractor in the tracts being built. Now as Governor he runs the Department of Consumer Affairs, which includes the Contractors License Board.
 
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