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How to be Tactful Responding With Diplomacy and Grace
It's important to communicate sensitive information tactfully.
Respond intelligently, even to unintelligent treatment. – Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher.
We all have to communicate painful or sensitive information at some point in our careers. And, while it's important to tell the truth, we need to think about how we do it. Tact allows us to be honest, while respecting a person's feelings. When we communicate tactfully, we can preserve relationships, build credibility, and demonstrate thoughtfulness. In this article, we'll examine what tact is, and we'll look at how you can develop this important quality.
What is Tact?
Tact is the ability to tell the truth in a way that considers other people's feelings and reactions. It allows you to give difficult feedback, communicate sensitive information, and say the right thing to preserve a relationship.
Tact encompasses many things, including emotional intelligence , respect, discretion, self-awareness , thoughtfulness, compassion, subtlety, honesty, diplomacy, and courtesy.
Why is Tact Important?
The ability to communicate with sensitivity offers many benefits.
First, tact is important when you have to deliver bad news or provide critical feedback, whether in personal or professional situations. Next, communicating tactfully strengthens your reputation and builds your credibility . It allows you to preserve existing relationships and build new ones. A tactful approach shows character , maturity, professionalism , and integrity .
Tact also demonstrates good manners . If you can communicate with grace and consideration, you'll stand out from the crowd, and you'll get noticed for the right reasons. This can lead to career opportunities.
Finally, tact can help you to avoid conflict, find common ground, and allow others to save face. It can therefore be an important asset in negotiations and in conflict resolution.
Tip 1:
Tact is strongly influenced by culture.
What might be seen as open, fair feedback in some cultures might be seen as profoundly rude in others; while a message from a manager from a tactful culture may be seen as weak – or missed entirely – by a team member from a more forthright one.
Make sure that you are culturally alert when providing feedback to people from a different background. And tweak the examples below to suit your own culture.
Tip 2:
It's great to be tactful, however, you also need to get your message across and ensure that your own rights are respected. Make sure that you handle issues assertively , not submissively, when you are being tactful.
Developing Tact
Use the strategies below to communicate with tact.
1. Create the Right Environment, and Think Before You Speak
How many times have you spoken too quickly, and then regretted it?
First, practice active listening when others speak. Then, use empathy and emotional intelligence to connect with people, and to see things from their perspective. Last, work to build trust , so that people know that your intentions are honest and compassionate.
2. Determine the Appropriate Time
Your colleague has just found out that she'll be laid off at the end of the year, while your boss has just told you about your promotion. Is now the best time to talk about your good news? Definitely not!
Tact means saying the right thing at the right time. Consider your situation before you speak, and be discreet. Make sure that you stay conscious of who you're with – and where you are – before you speak.
3. Choose Words Carefully
Your choice of words can influence how others perceive your message.
Avoid starting sentences with the word "you." For example, saying, "You need to do better next time" will make the other person feel defensive. Instead, consider using softer, more indirect language, like, "Next time, I think your presentation would be stronger if you spent more time on research."
It's especially important to use "I" statements during conflict, or when you give constructive criticism. When you do this, you take ownership of your feelings instead of placing blame. For example, say, "I see it differently," or, "I had to go over that section several times before I understood your message."
You could also use a "cushion," or connecting statement, when you disagree with someone. For example, you can cushion the message, "You're wrong – our team did well last quarter," with, "I appreciate your opinion, but our team did well last quarter."
Also, when you're in a tense conversation, be concise. It's tempting to keep talking when you feel uncomfortable, which increases the chance that you'll say too much or say something that you'll regret. Be honest and assertive , and only say what you need to say.
4. Watch Your Body Language
Your boss just told you that your sales figures are "fine." But, as she speaks, she avoids your gaze and folds her arms across her chest. Although her words are neutral, her body language makes you question her message.
When you're tactful, your body language matches your message, and you appear open when you're communicating, even if you're giving bad news. For instance, make eye contact, don't cross your arms or legs, don't point, and practice good posture. Open body language and a courteous vocal tone communicate your truthfulness and willingness to work together.
5. Never React Emotionally
It's hard to communicate tactfully when you feel angry or upset. Give yourself time to calm down before you respond.
Learn how to control your emotions at work. To calm down from a stressful situation, take a break from it and go for a walk, or use deep breathing techniques to regain your composure.
It's also important to understand people, words, issues, or situations that can cause you to communicate without tact. Think back to the last time you lost your temper or said something you later regretted. Why did you react this way? What caused you to lose control?
When you understand your triggers, you'll be better able to control your emotions or walk away in the future.
Common Examples
Below are some common situations where tact can make the difference between a positive and negative experience.
1. Letting Team Members Go
It's never easy to let people go . These situations are often emotional and tense, which is why tact is important.
Start by explaining clearly what is happening. This is a difficult and unpleasant message to communicate, but you owe it to your team member to be honest. If you allow emotion to dictate how you deliver your message, you risk "sugar coating" facts and not getting your point across.
Next, explain why you've made your decision, and offer emotional support. It's important to be honest in this situation, but you can also be kind and supportive.
2. Giving Feedback
It can be difficult to give feedback , especially when it's negative. The key to providing effective feedback is to give it frequently, and to do it tactfully.
It's important to communicate sensitive information tactfully.
Respond intelligently, even to unintelligent treatment. – Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher.
We all have to communicate painful or sensitive information at some point in our careers. And, while it's important to tell the truth, we need to think about how we do it. Tact allows us to be honest, while respecting a person's feelings. When we communicate tactfully, we can preserve relationships, build credibility, and demonstrate thoughtfulness. In this article, we'll examine what tact is, and we'll look at how you can develop this important quality.
What is Tact?
Tact is the ability to tell the truth in a way that considers other people's feelings and reactions. It allows you to give difficult feedback, communicate sensitive information, and say the right thing to preserve a relationship.
Tact encompasses many things, including emotional intelligence , respect, discretion, self-awareness , thoughtfulness, compassion, subtlety, honesty, diplomacy, and courtesy.
Why is Tact Important?
The ability to communicate with sensitivity offers many benefits.
First, tact is important when you have to deliver bad news or provide critical feedback, whether in personal or professional situations. Next, communicating tactfully strengthens your reputation and builds your credibility . It allows you to preserve existing relationships and build new ones. A tactful approach shows character , maturity, professionalism , and integrity .
Tact also demonstrates good manners . If you can communicate with grace and consideration, you'll stand out from the crowd, and you'll get noticed for the right reasons. This can lead to career opportunities.
Finally, tact can help you to avoid conflict, find common ground, and allow others to save face. It can therefore be an important asset in negotiations and in conflict resolution.
Tip 1:
Tact is strongly influenced by culture.
What might be seen as open, fair feedback in some cultures might be seen as profoundly rude in others; while a message from a manager from a tactful culture may be seen as weak – or missed entirely – by a team member from a more forthright one.
Make sure that you are culturally alert when providing feedback to people from a different background. And tweak the examples below to suit your own culture.
Tip 2:
It's great to be tactful, however, you also need to get your message across and ensure that your own rights are respected. Make sure that you handle issues assertively , not submissively, when you are being tactful.
Developing Tact
Use the strategies below to communicate with tact.
1. Create the Right Environment, and Think Before You Speak
How many times have you spoken too quickly, and then regretted it?
First, practice active listening when others speak. Then, use empathy and emotional intelligence to connect with people, and to see things from their perspective. Last, work to build trust , so that people know that your intentions are honest and compassionate.
2. Determine the Appropriate Time
Your colleague has just found out that she'll be laid off at the end of the year, while your boss has just told you about your promotion. Is now the best time to talk about your good news? Definitely not!
Tact means saying the right thing at the right time. Consider your situation before you speak, and be discreet. Make sure that you stay conscious of who you're with – and where you are – before you speak.
3. Choose Words Carefully
Your choice of words can influence how others perceive your message.
Avoid starting sentences with the word "you." For example, saying, "You need to do better next time" will make the other person feel defensive. Instead, consider using softer, more indirect language, like, "Next time, I think your presentation would be stronger if you spent more time on research."
It's especially important to use "I" statements during conflict, or when you give constructive criticism. When you do this, you take ownership of your feelings instead of placing blame. For example, say, "I see it differently," or, "I had to go over that section several times before I understood your message."
You could also use a "cushion," or connecting statement, when you disagree with someone. For example, you can cushion the message, "You're wrong – our team did well last quarter," with, "I appreciate your opinion, but our team did well last quarter."
Also, when you're in a tense conversation, be concise. It's tempting to keep talking when you feel uncomfortable, which increases the chance that you'll say too much or say something that you'll regret. Be honest and assertive , and only say what you need to say.
4. Watch Your Body Language
Your boss just told you that your sales figures are "fine." But, as she speaks, she avoids your gaze and folds her arms across her chest. Although her words are neutral, her body language makes you question her message.
When you're tactful, your body language matches your message, and you appear open when you're communicating, even if you're giving bad news. For instance, make eye contact, don't cross your arms or legs, don't point, and practice good posture. Open body language and a courteous vocal tone communicate your truthfulness and willingness to work together.
5. Never React Emotionally
It's hard to communicate tactfully when you feel angry or upset. Give yourself time to calm down before you respond.
Learn how to control your emotions at work. To calm down from a stressful situation, take a break from it and go for a walk, or use deep breathing techniques to regain your composure.
It's also important to understand people, words, issues, or situations that can cause you to communicate without tact. Think back to the last time you lost your temper or said something you later regretted. Why did you react this way? What caused you to lose control?
When you understand your triggers, you'll be better able to control your emotions or walk away in the future.
Common Examples
Below are some common situations where tact can make the difference between a positive and negative experience.
1. Letting Team Members Go
It's never easy to let people go . These situations are often emotional and tense, which is why tact is important.
Start by explaining clearly what is happening. This is a difficult and unpleasant message to communicate, but you owe it to your team member to be honest. If you allow emotion to dictate how you deliver your message, you risk "sugar coating" facts and not getting your point across.
Next, explain why you've made your decision, and offer emotional support. It's important to be honest in this situation, but you can also be kind and supportive.
2. Giving Feedback
It can be difficult to give feedback , especially when it's negative. The key to providing effective feedback is to give it frequently, and to do it tactfully.