Francis Vineyard
REGISTERED
A pastor and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven.
St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion.
It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
‘Wow, thank you’, said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the pastor to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,’ said the pastor.
‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a pastor, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’
‘Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’
There was a little old lady who was very spiritual who would step out on her porch every day, raise her arms to the sky, and yell, “Praise the Lord”
One day, an atheist bought the house next door to her, and he became very irritated with the spiritual lady. So after a month or so of her yelling, “Praise the Lord” from her porch, he went outside on his porch and yelled back, “There is no Lord.”
Yet, the little old lady continued. One cold, wintry day, when the little old lady couldn’t get to the store, she went out on her porch, raised her hands up to the sky and said,
“Help me Lord, I have no more money, it’s cold, and I have no more food.”
The next morning, she went outside, and there were three bags of food on the porch, enough to last her a week. “Praise the Lord,” she yelled.
The Atheist stepped out from the bushes and said, “There is no Lord, ha ha ha, I bought those groceries!”
The little old lady raised her arms to the sky and said,
“Praise the Lord, You sent me groceries and you made the Devil pay for them!”
St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion.
It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
‘Wow, thank you’, said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the pastor to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,’ said the pastor.
‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a pastor, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’
‘Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’
There was a little old lady who was very spiritual who would step out on her porch every day, raise her arms to the sky, and yell, “Praise the Lord”
One day, an atheist bought the house next door to her, and he became very irritated with the spiritual lady. So after a month or so of her yelling, “Praise the Lord” from her porch, he went outside on his porch and yelled back, “There is no Lord.”
Yet, the little old lady continued. One cold, wintry day, when the little old lady couldn’t get to the store, she went out on her porch, raised her hands up to the sky and said,
“Help me Lord, I have no more money, it’s cold, and I have no more food.”
The next morning, she went outside, and there were three bags of food on the porch, enough to last her a week. “Praise the Lord,” she yelled.
The Atheist stepped out from the bushes and said, “There is no Lord, ha ha ha, I bought those groceries!”
The little old lady raised her arms to the sky and said,
“Praise the Lord, You sent me groceries and you made the Devil pay for them!”
