tmurray
SAWHORSE
Normally, I spend my days working cooperatively with our construction community. Today is an exception. I feel like I fought for every inch today. Something someone said to me got me thinking. "you're making me angry". I'm making him be angry. He is not responsible for being angry because I am making him be angry. Are we giving up ownership of our emotions with this type of statement? Are we allowing others to control us through this?
I am a millennial, but also was given a building inspection department to run. I've worked hard to get where I am. I see many people my age who seem to be incapable of meaningful discourse due to lack of emotional control. Not all mind you, but many. There does not seem to be a range of emotions. You are either "good" (you make me happy) or "bad" (you make me angry).
Watching my sister in law with her 4 year old daughter, her daughter sit herself on a table and started crying. She asked her if the table hurt her. Her daughter said yes. Now, you'll notice I said she hit herself on the table. A table can't hit you. It can't move on its own. But, is it the table's fault that you ran into it?
I was born with a heart condition. They figured this out when I was 11. I had three options. Option 1: die. Option 2: Extremely risky open heart surgery (read: probably die). Option 3: Attempt to control the condition with diet, exercise, and stress management techniques. We went with option 3. I remember a clear change in the language. We discussed emotions in my family a lot. "What made you upset/angry/sad". I was always told that I and I alone control how I feel. People can have an impact,sure, but I decide how I feel.
I'm now wondering if the lack of emotional maturity in people my age is due to a lack of ownership of our emotions. We know, more than most, the importance our words hold. Are we sabotaging our children by language we use?
I am a millennial, but also was given a building inspection department to run. I've worked hard to get where I am. I see many people my age who seem to be incapable of meaningful discourse due to lack of emotional control. Not all mind you, but many. There does not seem to be a range of emotions. You are either "good" (you make me happy) or "bad" (you make me angry).
Watching my sister in law with her 4 year old daughter, her daughter sit herself on a table and started crying. She asked her if the table hurt her. Her daughter said yes. Now, you'll notice I said she hit herself on the table. A table can't hit you. It can't move on its own. But, is it the table's fault that you ran into it?
I was born with a heart condition. They figured this out when I was 11. I had three options. Option 1: die. Option 2: Extremely risky open heart surgery (read: probably die). Option 3: Attempt to control the condition with diet, exercise, and stress management techniques. We went with option 3. I remember a clear change in the language. We discussed emotions in my family a lot. "What made you upset/angry/sad". I was always told that I and I alone control how I feel. People can have an impact,sure, but I decide how I feel.
I'm now wondering if the lack of emotional maturity in people my age is due to a lack of ownership of our emotions. We know, more than most, the importance our words hold. Are we sabotaging our children by language we use?
