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The witty comeback thread.. "I've been doing it this way for xyz years"

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TimNY

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Jan 13, 2010
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Charleston, SC
So I go to a rough plumbing inspection. Complete the inspection, find a few violations, nothing too bad. Find the plumber in charge.

"You have to change those wyes to tees"

"Why?"

"The connection to the vent cannot be below the weir of the trap"

[blank stare]

"Come with me.. You see this [touching interection of wye to the stack], it can't be below this [indicating where the weir of the trap would be]"

"I've been doing it this way for.."

So I cut him off before he can finish his sentence. Generally I would say I am one of the nicest guys to deal with, but something just struck a chord. I'm sure it was clear I was upset and I began pointing out all the other errors without the nice demeanor I used with that wye

"How about this joint, is it primed? How do I know that?" [pointing to joint with no purple primer]

"Those strike plates have to go, they must extend 2 inches above the bottom plate"

"You over-bored that top plate, so correct that"

"And the piping needs to be filled with water"

Hand him inspection card, walk away.

Seems to me I need some witty comeback lines.. If only to think about saying them in my head and smile. On the inside, anyway :)

I only have the standard ones:

"I've been doing this for 15 years"

"You've been doing it wrong for 15 years"

"I pipe it like this in xyz jurisdiction all the time"

"It's gonna take a lot of pipe to get to xyz jurisdiction"

Let me hear what you got!
 
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sorry Tim, but I tend to be courteous as is commonly deserved, but never feel compelled to entertain.
 
I feel your pain:

Newly attached garage (I was there as a consultant after the fact), 2 story with the 2nd floor of the garage to be a bonus room from the inside of the 2nd floor. Special trusses for the garage roof that allow the bonus room to be inside the web. 40psf ground snow load in our area. Garage is 24' deep and the front garage door opening is 16' on the load bearing side of the garage (front).

No sheetrock was hung in the garage yet, no sub floor was installed for the 2nd floor yet. Simply framed with the roof shingled.

There was already 3/4" of deflection in the garage door opening prior to any additional weight being added and there was not a center beam due to the trusses to the front load bearing wall was sharing half of the load of the 2nd floor and roof.

The header was a double 2x10 with pieces of 7/16" osb sandwiched in. Yeah I said pieces.

Contractor's words were: "You don't know what you are talking about. I have been building them like that for 20 years. I just built 3 of them this year in XYZ Township and they did not have a problem with it"

What do you say to that?
 
I usually ask for the addresses, so the contractor will have a chance to fix those too.
 
"I've been doing this for 15 years""You've been doing it wrong for 15 years"

"I pipe it like this in xyz jurisdiction all the time"

"It's gonna take a lot of pipe to get to xyz jurisdiction"
These are sarcastic comebacks not witty. A proper response would be "let me explain why the code does not allow it done that way" then take the time and opportunity to educate him.

The strike plates extending 2" above the bottom plate is fairly new to the code. Knotching and boring was not in the legacy code he was trained under. Some of these contractors never receive additional education in the code unless you provide it.

It is frustrating for us when we run into these but like Jim said we must be "courteous as is commonly deserved"
 
I usually make a comment like "Well that city is not quite up to date on the codes like we are."

Then explain why.
 
I find that most of the "They don't make me do it that way in (other city)" responses are not actually based on truth. I have the phone numbers of multiple Building Officials in the vicinity programmed into my cell phone, and will often call them right on the spot and explain the situation in the presence of the offending contractor. I courteously ask how these situations are interpretted in their jurisdiction, and ask for guidance. No attempt is made to belittle or catch the contractor in a lie, I just ask for clarification. By leaving the contractor with his dignity intact, I tend to get much more accomplished.
 
I just explain what I want and leave it at that.

It's way easier to say something funny but I don't take my job as that. Act professonial and expect professional work and mostly that's what you get. Sure there some that don't get it and require training, but mostly I find the work I check is quality. Homeowners may need some hand holding and that's expected.

I sometimes wear a pin on my name tag that says: "Attitude is everything."
 
jim baird said:
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!Sorry Tim, but I tend to be courteous as is commonly deserved, but never feel compelled to entertain.
I'm sorry, did you miss the part about "if only to think about them in my head". I'll put it in bold next time.
 
mtlogcabin said:
These are sarcastic comebacks not witty. A proper response would be "let me explain why the code does not allow it done that way" then take the time and opportunity to educate him.The strike plates extending 2" above the bottom plate is fairly new to the code. Knotching and boring was not in the legacy code he was trained under. Some of these contractors never receive additional education in the code unless you provide it.

It is frustrating for us when we run into these but like Jim said we must be "courteous as is commonly deserved"
See my previous response. We all hang on every letter of the code, but reading comprehension on this one is falling by the wayside.

The purpose here is to have a little fun. I have explained things many times and will continue to do so. In fact, I faxed all the code sections over to this gentleman this morning.
 
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Continued reading.. I can see where this is going and it appears levity is not a trait prevalent here. I'm sorry my sense of humor is not congruent with so many of you.

To summarize:

1. The thread was supposed to be fun.

2. I never stated I intended to use, nor suggested anybody else use, anything presented in the thread. In fact, I indicated exactly the opposite in the OP.

3. As per the thread title, the thread was about witty comebacks, not quality of contractors, our duties as inspectors, and so on and so forth.

4. I regret not transcribing my entire conversation for critique. Or following up with a post regarding the conversation and documents faxed to the contractor this morning. Of course, the thread wasn't about that.

5. Words spoken here (by myself or others) are not court testimony, please stop treating them as such.

As I seemed to offend, I'm going to request that a moderator lock and/or delete the thread.
 
I was upset and I began pointing out all the other errors without the nice demeanor I used with that wye
This is what I was referring to. For whatever reason he got under your skin and he knows it. It has happened to all of us and I personally have had to go back and apologize for my attitude. It went a long way in building and restoring a working relationship with the individual.

The purpose here is to have a little fun
"I have been doing it the same way for 15 years"

"Sounds like a boring sex life" ;)
 
I tried, but I'm not a Mod in this forum.........wait, yes I am.
 
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I like mtlogcabin's reply the best.

I agree with you jpranch, no real need to lock the thread.

TimNY, I feel your pain man. Sometimes you just want to shake them, but we can't do that. With guys like that the best thing is smile (its better than crying) and have about 4 fingers of bourbon with a couple of ice cubes, when you get home to take the edge off.

TimNY, I have also looked at plumbers and told them if they are that sure what they are doing is correct, lets invite the folks out that do license investigations to review the work, if they say its good, I'm good with it. Unusually the saw gets turned on and they start cutting out the problem areas in a hurry. It's amazing how quick their confidence in their "good" work goes away.

Have a good one Tim and don't let them get you down, I will guarantee there will be another one tomorrow. So don't stress out, be happy.
 
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