Francis Vineyard
REGISTERED
Three men approached the gates of heaven where they were immediately greeted by Saint Peter. “Hello good sirs, and welcome to the Kingdom of God. In heaven we have but one rule: DO NOT step on a duck.”
“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?” questioned one of the men.
“Over the years, many misconceptions of heaven have arisen. Yes, it’s a pretty nice place. No, it’s not perfect, but it’s close. You see the only problem is the ducks. If you step on a duck it will begin to quack and then all the other ducks will begin to quack and it’s simply a nuisance for us all. So if you step on a duck, you must suffer the consequences.” Saint Peter replied.
The three men looked at each other, laughed it off, and continued into heaven. As far as the eye could see there were ducks everywhere. Almost immediately one of the men accidentally stepped on a duck. Just as Peter had said, the duck began to quack and then the ducks around him began an audible tidal wave of quacks.
Soon after the quacks had passed, Saint Peter approached the men in hand with a hag of a woman. Without a word, he shackled the hag to the man that stepped on the duck and left.
The other two men were careful not to step on a duck. Although they tried their best, one of them eventually stepped on a duck. The same phenomenon of before arose and Saint Peter arrived again with a huge Amazonian woman with warts all over her face. He shackled the woman to the man and left.
The final man treaded with care and spent many days and nights successfully stepping around the ducks. After a while, Saint Peter approached the man with a beautiful woman. He shackled the woman to the man and left without a word.
The man was so delighted he audibly said to himself, “Wow, what did I do to deserve this?”
The woman replied, “I don’t know, but I stepped on a duck…”